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1.
Trash On Fire 01:01
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WAZZUP, GAMERS!! Look at me, I'm a train wreck Look at me, I'm a flaming sack of crap I've gone past rock bottom I'm trash on fire There I go, down the rabbit hole There I go, past the point of no return There I go, down the toilet bowl Cause I'm trash on fire Yeah I'm trash on fire You'll find me dead in the bathroom You'll find me dead with my pants down to my knees You'll find me dead with my dick out Cause I'm trash on fire There I go, like a train wreck There I go, like a flaming sack of crap Gone past rock bottom Like trash on fire Cause I'm trash on fire
2.
Raisin Man 03:34
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WHAT’S UP INDIANAPOLIS WE ARE IRVING ZARTACKIS AND THE JUNKYARD BOYZ AND WE HAVE ONE THING TO SAY TO ALL OF YOU DOMO ARIGATO, MISTER RAISINATO YOU GO TO THE STORE BUY SOME PACKAGED GRAPES MAKE SURE THEY’RE DEHYDRATED MAKE NO MISTAKE RUN TO THE PRODUCE SECTION PICK UP GRAPES BY THE BUNCH SQUEEZE THEM TIL THEY’RE RAISINS NOW EAT THOSE RAISINS FOR LUNCH EAT ALL THE RAISINS YOU CAN BECOME A RAISIN MAN EAT ALL THE RAISINS YOU CAN BECOME A RAISIN MAN WHEN YOU’RE GOIN TRICK OR TREATING ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTE WHY GET SUGARY CANDY WHEN YOU COULD GET DRIED FRUIT THEY SAY “YOU WANT SOME CANDY?” YOU SAY “NO, MA’AM” “GIMME THOSE DRIED GRAPES, I’M A RAISIN MAN" EAT ALL THE RAISINS YOU CAN BECOME A RAISIN MAN EAT ALL THE RAISINS YOU CAN BECOME A RAISIN MAN NOW IN ORDER TO TRULY APPRECIATE THE RAISIN ONE MUST BECOME THE RAISIN STAY IN THE SUN TO GET A TAN GOTTA SHRIVEL UP, YOU’RE A RAISIN MAN PICK THE RAISINS FROM YOUR RAISIN BRAN YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY TO BEING A TRUE RAISIN MAN PAINT YOUR SKIN PURPLE, FROM YOUR FEET TO YOUR HANDS GOTTA LOOK JUST LIKE A RAISIN MAN GET A SAXOPHONE, JOIN A BAND YOU’RE A CALIFORNIA RAISIN, YOU’RE A RAISIN MAN EAT ALL THE RAISINS YOU CAN BECOME A RAISIN MAN EAT ALL THE RAISINS YOU CAN BECOME A RAISIN MAN eat all the raisins you can become a raisin man eat all the raisins you can become a raisins man
3.
Fart Commander 00:58
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oh no, go away oh no, go away oh no, go away oh no, go away FART COMMANDER HE'S THE HERO NO ONE WANTS FART COMMANDER HE'S THE HERO NO ONE NEEDS FART COMMANDER HE'S THE HERO WE CAN'T SELL FART COMMANDER He can go to hell.
4.
Abdi Buys a Organ 01:53
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5.
The Bees 01:24
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help god no the bees help god they're in my eyes gosh heckie dang and darn i'm being stung to death by bees
6.
Shitbeat № 6 02:05
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7.
Look (at my Butt (feat. chipANimal)) 01:17
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look no look no look at my butt no look at my butt no look at my no please look no look no look at my butt no look at my butt no look go away please look no look no look at my butt no look at my butt go away look no please look no look no look at my butt go away look at my butt please look no look no look at my butt no look at my butt no look at my no please look no look no look at my butt no look at my butt no look go away please look no look no look at my butt no look at my butt go away look no please look no look no look at my butt go away look at my butt please ok fine
8.
The Piss Song 00:59
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Piss Piss Piss Piss I'm calling the police And a cop steps out of the vehicle... Sir, have you been drinking this evening? Excuse me sir, have you been drinking this evening? Excuse me sir, I can smell the tequila on your breath (piss piss piss) ExSQUEEZE me sir, have you been drinking this evening? ExSQUEEZE me sir, have you been drinking this evening? ExSQUEEZE me sir, don't you know that Drinking like that will lead to certain ＤＥＡＴＨ
9.
Glockenspiel with Ukulele and Whistling 00:57
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10.
Only Because You Asked Nicely, Jim MacGufferin 02:52
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I opened a pressurized canister of Surstromming Or did the pressurized canister of Surstromming open ME?? I prematurely removed the tags on my shinin’ new denim Or did the tags on my shinin’ new denim prematurely remove ME?? I inappropriately attempted to use a “Magic Eraser” on my boss at work Or did the “Magic Eraser” inappropriately attempt to use ME!? ONLY BECAUSE YOU ASKED NICELY, JIM MACGUFFERIN ONLY BECAUSE YUH ASKED I SAID UH ONLY BECAUSE YOU ASKED NICELY, JIM MACGUFFERIN I’M GLAD YOU DIDN’T ASK TWICE!!!! I got shipped a shrink-wrapped package of “Race for the Cure” t-shirts Or did the package of “Race for the Cure” t-shirts get a shrink-wrapped ME?!? I scraped off the corrosion on the battery contacts for a McDonald’s toy Or did the corrosion on the battery contacts on a McDonald’s toy scrape off ME?!?!?!? I ate a piece of moldy cabbage and it slid nastily down my throat Little did I know this was the way of the future, you goat (hacking cough) ONLY BECAUSE YOU ASKED NICELY, JIM MACGUFFERIN ONLY BECAUSE YUH ASKED I SAID UH ONLY BECAUSE YOU ASKED NICELY, JIM MACGUFFERIN I’M GLAD YOU DIDN’T ASK TWICE!!!! I am IFRIT, DEMON OF FIRE I am JACKIE CHAN, DEMON OF KUNG FU I am WALTER WHITE, DEMON OF CRYSTAL METH I am YOUR EGO, DEMON OF YOU I am FAYGO, DEMON OF SOFT DRINKS I am MARVIN, DEMON OF MARS I am JAMES BROWN, DEMON OF SOUL MUSIC I am OLDSMOBILE, DEMON OF CARS (indecipherable noises, sounds) GAAAAAAA! GAAAAAAA! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! YOU’RE OLDER THAN YOU’VE EVER BEEN AND NOW YOU’RE EVEN OLDER AND NOW YOU’RE EVEN OLDER AND NOW YOU’RE EVEN OLDER!!!!!!!!! ONLY BECAUSE YOU ASKED NICELY, JIM MACGUFFERIN ONLY BECAUSE YUH ASKED I SAID UH ONLY BECAUSE YOU ASKED NICELY, JIM MACGUFFERIN I’M GLAD YOU DIDN’T ASK TWICE!!!!
11.
Bees, My Only Friend 02:58
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Bees, my only friend Bees, why did it have to end? Bees, my only friend Bees, why did it have to end? Where did I go wrong? Say goodbye to all the rest Where did I go wrong? Empty hives and empty nest Bees, my only friend Bees, why did it have to end? And those bees are calling out And those bees are calling out Bees Bees Bees Bees

credits

released May 3, 2017

Irving Zartackis - 22-String Guitar, Nose Flute, Musical Sponge

Abdi LaRue - Bass Guitar, Bass Clarinet, Bass Theremin, Pan-Fried Sea Bass

Gormless Pissant - Keys, Where Are My Keys, Oh Shit I Can't Find My Keys, Hey Abdi Have You Seen My Keys

Banal Schittlorde #2 - Drums, Miscellaneous Honkers

Sarcophagus Jones - Ukulele and Killer Instinct

DJ Plasticism - Baddest DJ On Two Turntables

Spencer Krosney and William DeKhrenshaw - Hell on Earth Technicians

Daxton E. Gormwell-Dengus - Dingo Wrangling

Chris Kincaid - Mix Consultant

Raisins provided by Irving's Mom, Julie Zartackis

Produced by Lalo Schifrin

PATREON BACKERS: King Gorbus of France, Arnold P. Schutzenhoffer, Gunty Sudekis, Caxton Zambrano, Lionel S. Klinkose, Halex H. "Hetch Hetchy Reservoir" Hauptycopter, Jr., Joe "The Clam" The Cow, Leahcim EdAtorb, Lehigh Nesbitt Plochberg, Spoony Spoonikis, George Duchamp, Klyle LcLaughlan, Boober, Tony Cilantro, Arbl Badanga, J. L. Milligan, DonDon Dreyfus, Arnie the Gopher, Aaargburph Sneezeflop, Juggie Banks, Johnny Bingles, Gunktodobus Baxter-Brimley, The Gorple Snake, Jhonka Dunderson, "Gary", and that one dude from The Office

Special thanks to Tom DesLongchamp and the old Say Whatever gang for inspiration. No act of creation is ever wasted, no matter how stupid the end result is.

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Weird Noises Indianapolis, Indiana

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